Sunday, 29 May 2011

Find you! :)

Often people don't step back to really look at their lives and analyze the tiny details that you don't notice in the moment, but when you take a step back, and look at it from a distance, you realize that your eyes are blind to so many things.

The biggest mistake we make is thinking that all the people we know are our friends. This is wrong.
Of all the people you know, less than 5% are real friends. The one's that're there for you through the nitty gritty. Their the ones who notice something's wrong when you're hiding behind a smile, and the ones who call or text you at all hours of the day and not only when they need something. The rest, they're just acquaintances, or people who stand by you to move up the social ladder.

A friend told me, that in order to find out who your real friends are, the people that're true to you, you need to know who you are. Only then will your eyes be opened to things that you never noticed while you were trying to fit it. Not all of us know who we are, who we want to be, or what our passions are. Heck, I don't know who I am. Some days I feel that I'm certain of who I am, or I know who I want to be but then I realize that my "friends" wouldn't like that me, however, if they were really friends they'd accept me for who I am, right?

Sometimes you just need to leave everything behind and go on a journey to find yourself. This is something I've tried many times, yet, the real me hasn't emerged, and fake friends are still lurking around like sharks in a bloody pond. I went through different phases, as do many teenagers at this time. For awhile I was a scene kid, then there was a time I wore only printed t-shirts, jeans and sneakers. Then I had my girly phase, and my "coloured skinny jeans only" phase. None of these worked out, cos frankly, they just weren't me...

I've come to realize that I may know who I am, but I'm scared people won't like it, and for this reason, I've decided to seclude myself and do some soul searching. (something I think all "people pleasers" should do)
I've realized that I'm the girl who loves sneakers, yet, putting on some heels once in a while is fine too. I'm the girl that wears tons of make up 'cause I love experimenting with all kinds of different products and colours. I'm the girl who will occasionally show alot of skin, but often decide that showing no skin would be alot better. I'm the girl who can wear fake eyelashes, regardless of many people thinking it makes you fake. I don't think there is anything fake about any of this. If it was, I'd reckon covering your nails with nailpolish or nail tips for mani's would be too, but, it isn't. It's all about what's inside that counts, regardless of how many layers of concealer a person's face might be covered with.

The next two months will be my time to find myself, again. I'm not saying I'm gonna change, and I'm not saying I won't. All I'm saying is, that before I can love anyone else, realize who my real friends are, and be happy and content with everything I have in life, I need to open my eyes and realize who I am.. and at the end of it all, I'll see how I come out of the tunnel and who'll be standing right there to support me, and in that moment I'll know who I am, who my friends are and perhaps I'll have realized what my passions are, 'cause at this point I have no clue. 


IN CONCLUSION: if you need some time to yourself, take it. It's a well deserved break, and it's your life, do with it as you'd please.
If you want to wear heeled shoes all day, 'erday, wear tiny dresses that only half cover your backside, wear eyelashes that in your opinion make you feel beautiful, get piercings all over your face, then DO IT.
It's all about what'll make you feel good about yourself. It's your life, and you're only gonna get this one chance to experience everything it comes with, and if you're going to live in fear of what "others might say", then you'll only just make a waste of your life trying to please them, while they do everything they want to do, not caring about trying to please you. So, GO FOR IT.


Best wishes :)

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