Being by yourself has a strange beauty to it. The lonely, the cold - It's all beautiful in its own strange way.
Yeah, you probably spend most of your time conjuring up memories, unable to control whether they'll be good or bad. You probably find yourself weeping and sobbing then suddenly laughing and smiling and feeling warm surges sparking at different corners of your body.
See, there's beauty in lonely. There's something so happy about being alone and being sad. There's something joyous about every tear you shed as you think about the first time you told him you loved him, repeating it through your tears as loud, rave music blared from nearby, beach sand spilled into your shoes and the ocean kissed the shore. There's something joyous about that incredibly broken and sad feeling you get when thinking about just how much everything has changed.
The beautiful thing about it is that your life is moving. That is to say that your day in and day out aren't the same, and that a year later you can recognize the extent to which everything has changed. A static life is a sad life. A mundane, monotonous, "do the same thing every day" kind of life is useless.
In all honesty, that sad and that lonely is a blessing. It's a moment away from the harsh world and a moment to be introspective. You cry about the change but you forget that the change symbolizes that you've been living instead of just being alive. You made strides. You changed your yesterday.
...so yes; it hurts sitting reflectively by oneself and sobbing about the changes in your life, longing to go back to the life you knew; but all of that makes it one of the most beautiful things too.