A funny thing happens when you start finding yourself in a new place. This haze that you existed within turns into a new hue. Crazy as it was, it continues to be, but you find yourself floating blissfully there. Words remain just that - words. You take them in, hearing and sometimes listening as the syllables roll off of the tongues of these individuals making the shapings you'd imagine the farmland's "rolling hills" would, as they say. They say - Life becomes a lot of that. Yet, your haze is wholly consuming and none of it matters anymore. All the mistakes you've made, pain you've felt and things you've lost.. They turn into this mirage of a life that is completely separate from who you are. And you used to think they made you; they defined you.
Oh child, were you wrong. Your erotically driven thoughts of love and life and love have been put to rest because you are consumed by this new existence. You inhale and exhale and the way the air loops in your lungs seems different than it did three months ago... You realize you're gone. The entire world as you knew it changed; it has been changing. But you were too wrapped up in your petty unfortunities of day to day life, leaving breadcrumbs to take you back to your sorrow once in awhile and make the action justified.
But a new fire has been ignited. You no longer linger on those. The breadcrumbs are slowing folding into the land upon which they lay, leaving no evidence of what had been your life before the new hue in this haze. Everything is loudly silent. Playing second fiddle and the backdrop to the bigger picture at hand - you.
Moving in and out of cities, these living organisms that we try to understand but that are much more complex than we can fathom, you find yourself. A lonely, singular being, happily content and whole in her alone. People moving by, breathing in and out, depleting the oxygen of the world, killing you slowly, softly. Forgetting the ones starving in deserts afar, sand smacking dead centre into their iris, making them blind to what's ahead, both then and in time.
A funny thing happens when you begin to find yourself in a new place....and the funniest part is that now, child, you're finally smiling inside.