Because you tried to beat me down...

There are times when I sit occupied in my own thoughts that ring so loudly in my mind that it makes me want to scream. I try to block out the music, and I mask the hurt but there is so much more within that I can't disregard.

They say that happiness is a state of mind and strength is developed. However, I've been trying for the past few months and it hasn't come to me. I've chosen the smiles and roses, and the sunbeams in the sky. I let the light hit my face at an angle, and reflect happiness I can't deny. But when you're hurt is so tremendous, that you're eyes hold back salty swells of tears, and your mouth does that curve that pulls down your cheeks and spills the fills; there's not too much more you can do but cry.

So I'll cry when I need to and smile when I see you because pain isn't something I'd show you. No, you won't see it from me. You won't see me hurt when you throw your words at me. You won't see me hurt when you doubt my honestly. You won't see me hurt, and I won't let you. But I'll let you read this note and understand what you've done, and hope that your conscious is strong enough to eat you up.