Tuesday, 26 June 2012

A Blur Fades

For the past few months I've been crying about things I've lost, and I've tried to work them out. See, people always say someone steps into your life for a reason, and when they leave, there's a reason behind it too.. Yet, as hard as I try, I don't see how some of the characters that have walked into and out of my life have taught me anything. These characters are like ghosts, and the memories you have with them haunt you. Haunt you to a breaking point. A point where you feel like everything inside of you has been drained out dry, and you kinda just fall to your knees because your legs have become so weak, and you just cry openly because hiding it stabs you right in the chest and you're forced to deal with this internal emotional bleeding.

So what if someone walks in and out, and means nothing? What if they haven't had any qualitative value in your life? What then?... Why are you still crying? Shouldn't you spare your tears to water something that still has the potential to bloom instead of wasting them on a tree flower that's already withered out and scorned? See, tears do mean you care because when you're crying, you're hurt; and if something has the power to hurt you, then you cared. So, if they're not crying, then they didn't care, right? Well, you ought to know they are not crying for you. Not a tear has been shed for you. Not an ounce of a care has been given. So, pick yourself up off your scraped knees, and wipe away the tears; because, once you wipe away the salty tears that blur your view, you'll be greeted by familiar faces. You'll have your best friend; for me, this is someone that has been in my life since pre-grade. The girl I spent 3 through 5 with, baking mud cakes in the sand. The girl that provided a shoulder for crying since the days we were in a convent and that has been there for all the drama and somehow managed to stick around. You'll see the girl that has been by your side all through grade school; who lives miles away and still manages to make sure you're alive on a daily basis. You'll see the guy that has been there for you, though sparsely, all through your life. The boy that your mom loves and has become so much like family that not even time, nor distance can force you apart. You'll see the faces of the friends you left behind when you moved on to a new school and a new life, and they'll be there to pick you up when you need it. Indefinitely, you'll meet new people on your audacious walk through life, and when you wipe away the blur, their faces will be there too. Yes, the people that really matter will be there. They'll be there even after you neglect them for months on end to deal with yourself. They'll be there after you yell at them and call them a "bitch". They'll be there even after you swear you're through with them; because those are the people that matter, and those are the ones who care. They are the people you should spend your tears on.

Life is a journey, and all journeys encounter bumps and you can count on there being bumps on the road. The occasional character that walks in, turns your life upside down, then walks out the second work needs to be done. These character choose the easy way out, and if you're like me, a difficult person to have to deal with, you need to get used to these walk-through's, and teach yourself not to be bother once they leave. Yes, once someone walks in then out, it hurts. It breaks you down in ways that are unimaginable if you don't mentally prepare yourself; but I'm here, hoping that I can use my experiences to teach someone else, and hopefully, the pain won't be as bad.

It's not the easiest thing to do, but sometimes, easy isn't the right way out. So, here's to letting the blur fade, and seeing all that's around you for what it is. Emancipate yourself from the sadness, and do what makes you happy. Find a focus, and live for it. Surround yourself with people that matter, and those that make you happy. See, I believe happiness is a state of mind, and if you chose to be happy, you will make decisions that will lead you on a path of just being happy. So choose this path and go for it. You can have your happiness today if you chose to let the blur fade.

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