Tuesday, 3 April 2012

The Past Few weeks/days

Firstly, I'm glad to be a part of NaPo. The thing is; I'm alot more motivated because I really enjoy poetry, and when I write it, the words and ideas just flow, unlike NaNo (I get writer's block).
...Yes, so, so far it's been great. I haven't needed prompts yet but I'm sure that I'll make use of them at some point. Today's poem was inspired by the prompt to write an Epithalamium. I decided to just write about something close to a wedding scene instead. :) I feel like it went well.
Whenever I write a poem I think about what I need to add, so that, if someone possibly publishes a collection of my poems long after my death, students like myself can find something in there to analyse and question and perhaps learn a little bit of me with every poem. I think I've learned to incorporate this sufficiently.

On a more personal note; life seems to have changed since i turned 17. I feel like the world carries a different air, and I carry a different ambiance. I feel slightly more matured. Not much has changed: there is still the 7th grade type of drama dragging along my side, there is still my isolation at home, however, I feel like I've somewhat learned to drift well in this forlorn setting. The statement, "Headphones in, World out" makes a lot more sense now. I feel like music is the only thing that has really been keeping me going over the last few weeks. Emotionally, these weeks have been hard. Hahha. Yeah, I found out a lot I didn't really want to know, I've been fighting with a friend. Urghhh. Friend fights.. silly. Perhaps I should get into a bit more detail about this.

On a Friday night out, celebrating my birthday, a friend confronted me and made a statement that well... offended me. Being the person I am, my first response was, well, anger. So, I tugged her on the jacket and sprouted some hurtful words. Indeed I did, and I'm not proud. I did apologize, ofcourse... however, I did not apologize for what I said because I still stand by every word I said. I apologized for the violent act.
Anyway.. Seems she's not talking to me. It's hurtful, yes, however, I kind of don't care. I sort of feel as though there is a more mature way to go about everything and if this is how she chooses to deal with the situation then perhaps it is better we keep our distance? ... I'm really looking to surround myself with positive, more mature people. I mean, my friends are mature, definitely. It's just that I sometimes feel as though they act like children, purposely. I do too (what a hypocrite), which is why I want to be around more mature people, so some of it can rub off on me.

Anywhoo. - This is getting way to personal now.
A short briefing on life at the moment:
I got the lead role in a small production, I'm excited and nervous and stressed, all at the same time. There's tons to be done and learned in a very short span of time.
I've started exercising more regularly now and my body feels great. Yes, I am tired and aching, however, the release of 'happy hormones' as I call them, has been good on me.
I love my new camera. I can't help but take pictures all day of everything. My flickr is finally continuosly active which is majorly exciting. I'm excited to share my passion.
On the downside, the workload in school has been piling up and I've been slacking. I have a ton to do and a ton to catch up (and writing this right now is wasting my time :/) .. but I'm confident that I can do it all.
I chose an overseas summer vacation over a new phone for my birthday. So now I'm sitting with this tiny phone, which I hate, which at this very moment (for the last 5 days actually) has refused to send texts. Now I'm even more lonely than before.

As you can see, I'm more uplifted and spirited lately. I haven't cried in awhile, even while Taylor Swift was playing while I took my bath. I'm proud.

Things are pretty dandy at the moment. Let's see what tomorrow blows over... - Leaves change.

PS ;)



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